Self Growth: A Struggler’s Journey to Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be
Hey, struggler. If you're reading this, chances are you're looking to improve yourself in some way. Maybe you're feeling stuck, frustrated with where you are in life, or maybe you just know you’re capable of more but can’t quite figure out how to get there. Trust me, I’ve been there.
So let’s talk about self growth. Not the kind of surface-level advice you see in Pinterest quotes or those quick “10 ways to be your best self” articles, but the real, raw, messy stuff. The kind of growth that transforms you not just externally, but from within. The kind of growth that shakes you to your core, makes you question your choices, your habits, and your beliefs, but ultimately leads you to a life you can be proud of.
What Is Self Growth, Anyway?
When I first started my journey, I thought self growth was all about getting better—whether it was in my career, my relationships, or even just in my day-to-day habits. I thought it was all about the "hacks"—you know, things like waking up earlier, getting more organized, learning to meditate, or reading books about success. Those things are important, of course, but self growth is so much deeper than that.
It’s about understanding who you are, digging into the core of your beliefs, your values, and your emotions, and learning how to shift the things that are holding you back. It’s about transforming your mindset, your behaviors, and the way you interact with the world. Self growth isn’t just about changing what you do; it’s about changing who you are at the deepest level.
And the thing about self growth is that it’s ongoing. You don’t just reach some magical destination where everything is perfect. It’s a journey—an evolving process. I used to think there was some end point where I’d feel “done” with growth. Spoiler alert: that never came. But now, I see that the process itself is where the magic happens.
Why Is Self Growth So Hard?
You might be wondering why self growth feels so difficult. Why does it require so much effort and vulnerability? Why can’t we just snap our fingers and become the person we want to be?
The truth is, self growth is hard because we are creatures of habit. We tend to stick with what we know, even if what we know isn’t helping us. Think about it: how many times have you tried to make a change, only to fall back into old patterns? We all do it. And that’s because our brains are wired for comfort. We have mental and emotional shortcuts that make things feel easier in the moment, even if they’re not the best long-term choices.
But here’s where it gets interesting: those old habits? They’re not you. They’re just things you’ve learned over time. And just because they’ve been your reality doesn’t mean they need to stay that way. Self growth is about challenging those patterns. It’s about breaking through the walls you’ve built around yourself—whether they’re walls of fear, insecurity, or self-doubt—and daring to be more than you’ve ever allowed yourself to be.
And yes, it’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.
How to Start Your Self Growth Journey
Here’s the thing, struggler: self growth isn’t about going from zero to hero overnight. It’s not about trying to overhaul your life in one fell swoop. It’s about small, consistent steps that lead you toward a life that’s more authentic, more fulfilling, and more aligned with your true self. Here’s how I started my journey, and how you can too:
1. Get Honest with Yourself
The first and most important step in self growth is getting brutally honest with yourself. No more lying, no more pretending. Sit down with yourself and take a long, hard look at your life. Where are you really? What’s working? What isn’t? What are the areas you’ve been avoiding, the ones you know deep down you need to face but keep pushing aside?
When I first did this, I realized I was hiding from my emotions. I was so caught up in the hustle and grind that I didn’t allow myself to feel what I was truly feeling. I had pushed my emotions down for years—telling myself they weren’t important, or that I was too busy to deal with them. But the truth was, that avoidance was holding me back in every aspect of my life.
Self growth begins when you stop running from your truth and start facing it head-on. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also liberating.
2. Start Small (But Be Consistent)
Self growth isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about making small, consistent changes that add up over time. Pick one thing you want to improve on and work at it consistently. Maybe it’s building a morning routine. Or practicing gratitude every day. Or learning how to say “no” when you feel overwhelmed.
For me, I started small. I decided to commit to journaling every day. At first, I wasn’t sure what to write. But soon, it became a way for me to process my thoughts and emotions. Writing every day gave me clarity and insight into my inner world, and over time, it helped me grow in ways I never imagined.
Start with one small habit or action. The key is consistency. It’s better to make slow progress every day than to burn out with huge changes that you can’t sustain.
3. Embrace Failure
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my self growth journey is this: failure is part of the process. It’s not a sign that you’re not good enough or that you should give up. It’s simply a part of learning and growing.
I’ve failed more times than I can count. There were days when I felt like I was back at square one, or even worse, going backwards. But each time I failed, I learned something new about myself. I figured out what worked, what didn’t, and what I needed to change. And with each failure, I got a little stronger, a little more resilient.
Don’t fear failure. Embrace it. Fail fast, fail forward, and use every failure as a stepping stone to your growth.
4. Surround Yourself with the Right People
If you want to grow, you have to be around people who encourage that growth. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, who challenge you, who believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. I used to hang around people who were stuck in their own patterns of negativity and complacency, and it kept me stuck too.
When I shifted my circle, everything changed. I started connecting with people who were on their own journeys of growth, people who were willing to challenge their beliefs, push their limits, and rise above their comfort zones. And that energy rubbed off on me.
Find your growth tribe, whether it’s friends, mentors, or online communities. Your environment is a reflection of where you are, and the right people will lift you higher.
Book Recommendations for Your Self Growth Journey
To help fuel your self growth, here are a few books that have been absolute game-changers for me:
-
"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle
If you’re looking to dive deep into the concept of being present and shedding past baggage, this is a must-read. It helped me get out of my head and focus on the present moment. -
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear
Want to change your habits for good? This book breaks down the science of habit formation and how small changes can lead to massive growth over time. -
"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero
If you need a motivational boost, this is the book for you. It’s lighthearted, fun, and full of practical advice to help you break free from self-doubt and start taking action toward the life you want. -
"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz
This book offers four simple but powerful principles that can help you transform your relationships with yourself and others. It’s a great resource for letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing personal freedom. -
"Grit" by Angela Duckworth
If you’re struggling with perseverance, this book is a must-read. It explores the power of passion and perseverance in achieving long-term success.
Final Thoughts: Keep Going, Struggler
Self growth isn’t easy, but it’s the most rewarding work you’ll ever do. It’s about peeling back the layers, facing your fears, and daring to become the person you’ve always known you could be. It’s hard, messy, and full of setbacks. But every single step you take—no matter how small—adds up over time.
So, keep going, struggler. Embrace the challenges. Learn from your failures. And remember: you are worthy of the growth you’re striving for.
